


I did desire you, but now I'm not so sure

by 4ever_yours2



Category: Riverdale - Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-25 02:57:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17113136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4ever_yours2/pseuds/4ever_yours2
Summary: Mary just dropped the bombshell of a lifetime on Fred, and FP overheard it all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to 'Do you desire me like I desire you?' and picks up right from that ending so I recommend you read that before this one.  
> Link to that fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15699540/chapters/36485310

Fred whips around to see FP standing there in a state of shock, the glass cup he held lays shattered at his feet, he whispers "What?" In a voice so hollow and broken it stabs Fred's heart  
"Fred" Mary says, Fred looks back over her "This is your son Archie"  
Fred's mouth opens and shuts, like a fish out of water, but he can't make any sound come out.  
"You cheated" FP whispers, Fred looks back over at him. FP has tears in his eyes, and Fred reaches out to him. But before he could touch him FP bolts out the back door "FP wait!" Fred yells as he rushes after him, but stops at the entryway of the back door because he couldn't see FP anymore.  
He walks back to Mary, who's still in the front entryway, he whispers "How?"  
A stern look crosses Mary's face "Remember that party Alice threw last year?"  
Fred nods  
"We banged there, unsafely apparently"  
"So that's why nobody saw you much at school"  
Mary nods  
"Why'd you-" he whispers, stuttering on his words "Why'd you have to announce it like that?"  
"I did not realize FP was at your house, or that either of you were together. I'm sorry if my actions caused you any harm"  
Archie starts crying, Mary shushes him with gentle rocking motions "Do you want to hold him?"  
Fred nods mutely, kind of stuck in a trance. He motions for her to come into the living room and sit on the couch beside him. Gently she hands over Archie and Fred holds him softly. He stares in awe at Archie's face, at the wonder of this beautiful creature before him. But something nags at him "Mary, I-" Archie makes a noise and Fred stops and stare for a moment "I cannot be with you" Mary looks hurt  
"However I can co-parent with you, if you'd like. I just cannot be in a relationship with you at this moment, I've got to deal with FP and hope he and I can work through this"  
Mary's look of hurt turns to understanding "I understand, and I'm truly sorry for the harm I've caused"  
Fred nods and hands Archie back over to her carefully. He stands up and helps her to stand also "I have to go after FP" he walks her to the door "But do call me if you need anything, and I would love to see our kid more" he smiles as they stop in the doorway  
"Of course" Mary smiles at him and leaves. Fred watches her walk down the pavement and to her own car, settling Archie in his seat before maneuvering to the driver seat and driving away.

 

 

FP storms away, hurt and anger and betrayal eating his heart. He can't see clearly, can't tell where he's going. He's suddenly at a corner market near South Side, and buys a bottle of alcohol. The cashier doesn't card him, so he leaves quickly. He takes sips of the burning liquid as he wonders.  
He ends up at the abandoned railway station.  
He sits in one of the empty train carts, rusty nails and rubbish sit around him as he drinks.  
Fred cheated on him.  
Worst off that cheating resulted in a kid, even worst than that it was with Mary!  
FP can feel the tears spill down his face as he stands and punches the side of the cart, once, twice, three times, four.  
It doesn't quell the ache in his heart.  
He slides down to the ground, slams his fist into the rubble and screams in agony.  
If he'd kept to his motto of no serious relationships maybe he wouldn't feel this bad.  
Ah, who's he kidding? No matter if he was or wasn't in a relationship with Fred he'd always known that he felt something towards the man.  
An idea strikes him like lightning, he stares unfocused at the train's wheel. If that baby is one month old, and she would've carried it for about nine months, that means Fred slept with her at Alice's party. God, he remembers that party like it was yesterday.  
After he was a total jackass, so was this his fault? Had he not yelled at Fred could this of been prevented?  
He punches the rubble one more and screams.  
"FP!" He turns, through his blurry vision he sees Fred. He looks back at the train wheel and seethes "Leave me alone"  
Fred pleads "Please let me explain"   
"Explain what? You knocked up Mary, congrats" FP says bitterly  
Fred drops to the ground beside FP "No please, I didn't mean to. Hell I don't even remember doing it" he reaches out to FP. But FP flinches back like his hand is acid, the tears once staining his face have been replaced by anger "Don't touch me, I can't trust you right now"  
Hurt floods Fred, but he understands "FP, please"  
"I told you I can't do something serious cause everyone cheats on me" FP stands, as does Fred. "I thought you'd be different, cause you were my best friend and I knew how loyal you were"  
"FP why are you talking in past tense?"  
FP continues like Fred didn't interrupt him, bitterness clear in his voice "But I was wrong, apparently the universe hates me cause I keep getting cheated on" Hurt clouds his eyes "Even by the people I once considered my best friend, someone who knows how tough it is for me to even consider serious dating again"  
"FP, please, I'm so sorry. Tell me what I can do to make this right"  
"Leave me alone"  
Hurt crosses Fred's eyes "What?"  
A mix of anger and sadness enter FP's voice "I don't want to see you. I- I have to process this, and decide whether or not I'll forgive you and I need time for that"  
Fred nods mutely, "Ok"  
FP grabs his drink and walks away.  
Fred stands there and hugs himself as the tears roll down his face.

He doesn't know how long he stands there for, but he knows FP is long gone before he collects himself and leaves.  
When he enters his house it's quiet, empty, dark. But he can see the outline of the broken glass still on the floor. He flips the light on and quickly cleans up the mess carefully. Without much else to do downstairs he goes upstairs to his room.  
The sight is more depressing than downstairs.  
Anything that FP had is gone. And the ache in his chest comes back on so strongly that he drops to the floor. He clutches his chest as the tears come back.  
Fred can't help the depressing thoughts of ' _This is all my fault._  
 _I practically cornered him about being in a relationship with me._  
 _I was stupid enough to get drunk and sleep with Mary._  
 _I knew how he felt and I still trampled on his fragile heart. I_ _should've told him'_

 

  
The days go by in a blur, until he hears the front door unlock and his mother calls out "Freddie! FP! We're home"  
Fred stands slowly, dizziness kicks him for a moment before he goes into the bathroom to wash his face, hoping he looks somewhat decent. Then he goes downstairs to his parents "Hey" he greets them in the lounge  
His mother hugs him tightly "We missed you"  
"Where's FP?" His father questions  
Fred feels apprehensive "He's uh..."  
"He's what?" His mother questions curiously  
"We had a bit of a fight and I don't know where he went or when he's coming back"  
His parents share a look, his father says "Oh"  
His mother smiles reassuringly "I'm sure he'll be back in no time"  
Fred nods, but he knows that isn't true. Then a thought he'd put on the back burner kicks him "Can I make a call?"  
"Sure" his mother says. Fred walks over to the house phone and calls Mary.  
It only takes a moment for her to pick up "Hello?"  
"Hey Mary it's Fred"  
"Oh, hi"  
"I was thinking we should tell my parents about...him"  
"...Are you sure?"  
He laughs nervously "Not entirely but we just have to"  
"Ok shall I come over now?"  
"Yes, see you soon"  
"Bye"  
They both hang up, then Fred goes back into the lounge room but his father isn't there. "Where'd dad go?"  
"He's just putting our luggage away"  
Fred nods and wait for his father to get back. It only takes a few minutes. He faces his parents sitting on the couch "I, uh, have to tell you two something"  
They stare at him in question, his father asks "What is it?"  
Then the doorbell rings, "That would be it"  
He goes over to the front door and lets Mary, whose holding Archie, in. He leads the pair over to the lounge where his parents wait.  
"Mum, dad, this is Mary" he pats her shoulder, then moves his hand over Archie's leg "And this is our kid Archie"  
Shock crosses over both parents faces, his mother the first to recover "We're grandparents?!" She stands and walks over to them and stares adoringly at Archie. Mary smiles and nods "Would you like to hold him?"  
She nods eagerly. His mother leads them over to the couch as his father walks over to him. "Fred a word"  
The others don't seem to notice the pair leave to the kitchen.  
His father leans against the bench and Fred stands opposite to him.  
"When did this happen?"  
"At Alice's party"  
"So are you two together?"  
Fred shakes his head, no "No but we will co parent"  
"Weren't you with FP then?"  
Fred stares off, "Not...fully"  
His father nods, after a moment he asks "Is this why he left?"  
Fred nods reluctantly  
"Have you repaired your relationship?"  
"I tried but he told me to give him space"  
"Just don't give up on him, ok?"  
Fred nods  
With an amused smile he adds "And be a decent father to that baby"  
Fred gives a small smile of amusement too, his father pats him on the shoulder and guides them back to the lounge room.  
"So this is my grandson?" He walks over to his mother and Mary. His mother carefully passes Archie over to him and his father's face lights up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fred finds FP

The following day Fred tries to locate FP again.  
He starts off at the abandon railway station.  
"FP!" He calls out as he checks the eerie interior of the station. The place is dark and doesn't seem like it was cared for in the last decade. "FP!" He checks behind the registers, nothing. He goes back outside, "FP!" He checks the train carts one by one, nothing. He checks the rest of the creepy station and finds nothing.  
Then he goes over to the drive in movie theatre. He checks the booth, nothing. He checks the field, nothing. He checks the surrounding area, nothing.  
He's got one last place to check, South Side.

 

He checks service stations, mini marts, clubs, bars, anywhere FP might be.  
He even asked some Serpents.  
All come up empty handed.  
So he tries one last place, the Serpent bar.  
"ID" The bouncer asks  
"Look I just need to know if FP is here" Fred pleads  
Unfazed the bouncer asks once more "ID"  
Fred sighs in annoyance and walks a few steps away from the bouncer, out of his field of vision Fred goes down the side alley. He blindly hopes there's a side door to get in. And he finds it, opened thankfully. He sneaks in and goes over to the bar, the bar keep eyes him suspiciously then asks "What do you want to drink?"  
"Actually I was wondering if you knew if FP is here or not?"  
The bar keep's eyes roam the bar for a second before saying "What do you need of him?"  
"I just need to speak to him"  
"About?"  
Fred inwardly sighs, and knowing that he won't get far until he says something he outwardly states "Him and I were dating, but I hurt him and I would just like to soothe things over with him and find where our relationship stands"  
The bar keeps eyes harden "So you're the one who hurt him"  
Fred's eyes shift to the ground "Yes"  
"You don't deserve his attention-"  
Fred stands, knowing where the conversation is heading and not wanting to hear nothing he hasn't already berated himself for he heads for the door. However a few steps away from the door a hand grabs his forearm. He recoils in shock and turns to see who grabbed his arm, a typical Serpent biker looking dude.  
"What the hell?"  
"I know where you can find FP"  
Suspiciously he asks "Where?"  
"There's an abandoned theatre over on Fisher street, you'll find him in the box. Take the next left and head straight down then take the right and you shouldn't miss it" the dude lets go of Fred's arm and merges back into the crowd. Fred stares at his arm, then the crowd. Without much to lose he leaves the bar, the bouncer protesting, and walks over to Fisher street.

 

  
The building looks like a cliche horror movie set, paint peeling, metal rusting, a few light bulbs flickering dimly in the daylight, one of the doors just hanging on it's hinge. Fred carefully steps into the building, wearily navigates through the debris in the lobby. Then he heads over to the box, the door slightly open. He peeks in and sees someone's back to him, their heads down so he can't identify them. He proceeds to open the door wider, the screeching sound it makes hurt Fred's ears so much. It also caused the person to turn around.  
"Fred?" FP asks in shock  
Fred smiles sheepishly "Hey FP"  
"How'd you find me?" His eyes become guarded  
Fred shrugs nonchalantly "I have my ways"  
FP turns back around "What do you want?"  
"I want to know where we stand"  
FP keeps his back to him, not answering.  
"FP, I can't stop kicking myself over this. You can't see how much I hate myself for doing this to you" Fred hugs himself and looks to the floor "I know I said I don't remember doing it with Mary...but that's not the whole truth"  
FP glances over his shoulder at him  
"I only remember waking up in bed with her but we were clothed so I didn't think we got far" he laughs bitterly "But apparently we did"  
FP faces forward again, looking away from Fred  
"I wanted to tell you but I couldn't stomach what I did" he pauses to stop himself from crying "I wanted to deny it and hoped so much it would stay in the past cause I-" he sniffs "I became what you feared most and I know I should've told you and maybe we wouldn't be in this situation now but FP, I care so much for you I just didn't want you to hate me" he shakes his head and laughs dryly "But in the end I guess you do"  
He waits a beat for FP to turn around, or say something.  
But he doesn't, so Fred turns to leave.  
"I don't-" FP pauses, then starts again "I don't hate you" he shakes his head "I guess I never could" he turns to face Fred "You were like this...impossible dream and I know I wasn't the easiest person to deal with or be in... whatever relationship with, but you stayed with me. I just want you to know that I don't think want you did was cheating because we had to have been in a relationship then, and we weren't."  
Fred stares in shock, unable to think of anything to say  
"And that's the truth, the whole truth. So I...I forgive you, Fred"  
Fred collects himself then "Thank you, FP"  
Silence hangs awkwardly in the air. FP doesn't offer to say anything else, and Fred doesn't know what else to say. But one question nags at him, he glance over to the wall "So...uh," he glances back at FP "Where, where do we stand?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Relationship wise. Are we still together, on a break or...are we done?"  
FP sighs, and shakes his head. He clasps his hands together. "I...I don't know. What's the situation with you and Mary?"  
"We're co-parenting but not in a relationship together"  
"Oh" FP lets the silence stretch for a moment "Would it be difficult if we were in a relationship?"  
"No, I don't think so"  
"Ok so, where do you want us to be?"  
"I-I want us to be together, however you see fit" Fred waits with bated breath  
FP wrings his hands together in thought, staring about the room.  
A heartbeat, two, three, four-  
"Together" FP stills his hands and stares at Fred "We'll be together, in a romantic relationship"  
A hopeful smiles lights up Fred's face "Really?"  
"Yes, as I said before you didn't do anything wrong cause we weren't together at that time so I don't have ill feelings towards you"  
Fred takes a step closer, but hesitates and stops "So, want to go down to Pop's?"  
FP smiles too "Sure"


End file.
